A few years ago my mother asked me, "Why have you stopped singing? You used to sing all the time!" I was surprised, first by her observation and second by my lack of observation. Oh yeah, I had indeed stopped singing... lost were the songs sung at the top of my vocal capacity during my childhood, and the constant humming of my early youth.
Before I go any further, let me tell you that I honestly can't carry a tune to save my life! I have had people sing, outside the bathroom door (discreetly!), the same song to show me how terrible I was!! So yes, I am that bad, but nothing could stop me from singing, even the embarrassment. I used to enjoy singing for the pure joy and with the abundance of optimism that one feels in childhood and youth.
So back to the question, why did I stop singing? I think it was the burden of life that just happened to pass along my way. One thing led to another and in my efforts to toughen up to face the world by myself, I started to lose some parts of me. Sometime a mere survival is all that you can muster up the courage for. Everything else becomes trivial.
Then I became a mother! And I just naturally started singing lullabies to my baby to sooth her. The weight of the world became trivial while I happily floated in the pleasure of motherhood. Just so you know this doesn't mean my singing got any better. One time I am quite sure my daughter (less than a year old!) tried to close my mouth while I was singing to make her sleep. Maybe she was ready to sleep and my songs were keeping her awake!! (Am I an optimist or what!!)
My mother also used to tell us when we were kids that the sweetest voice for a mother is not any world famous melody queen, its the voice of her child! Being a mother myself, now I understand what she meant and also why she noticed my lack of singing. My daughter luckily didn't get my singing genes, she can actually sing well and in tune. She told me very gently one day, "Maa, I don't want to be rude but you can't sing. You can draw very well but a singer, you are not!!
So imagine my surprise when one day she had a nightmare, she called out to me and said, "Maa, can you please sing that song for me. It will help me calm down and comfort me!"
I think I achieved my singing nirvana that day!
Before I go any further, let me tell you that I honestly can't carry a tune to save my life! I have had people sing, outside the bathroom door (discreetly!), the same song to show me how terrible I was!! So yes, I am that bad, but nothing could stop me from singing, even the embarrassment. I used to enjoy singing for the pure joy and with the abundance of optimism that one feels in childhood and youth.
So back to the question, why did I stop singing? I think it was the burden of life that just happened to pass along my way. One thing led to another and in my efforts to toughen up to face the world by myself, I started to lose some parts of me. Sometime a mere survival is all that you can muster up the courage for. Everything else becomes trivial.
Then I became a mother! And I just naturally started singing lullabies to my baby to sooth her. The weight of the world became trivial while I happily floated in the pleasure of motherhood. Just so you know this doesn't mean my singing got any better. One time I am quite sure my daughter (less than a year old!) tried to close my mouth while I was singing to make her sleep. Maybe she was ready to sleep and my songs were keeping her awake!! (Am I an optimist or what!!)
My mother also used to tell us when we were kids that the sweetest voice for a mother is not any world famous melody queen, its the voice of her child! Being a mother myself, now I understand what she meant and also why she noticed my lack of singing. My daughter luckily didn't get my singing genes, she can actually sing well and in tune. She told me very gently one day, "Maa, I don't want to be rude but you can't sing. You can draw very well but a singer, you are not!!
So imagine my surprise when one day she had a nightmare, she called out to me and said, "Maa, can you please sing that song for me. It will help me calm down and comfort me!"
I think I achieved my singing nirvana that day!
