Making Friends.

Making friends and nurturing them is an art.

I some time excel in it and some time suck at it. I remember how difficult it was for me to make friends in school. I lived in my family's shadow. So where ever I went, I was someone's daughter or sister.

But by the time I reached college, I made a monumental decision about myself.. I was going to start fresh without the past baggage with a new identity and just be myself. The anonymity of college gave me fresh life and I excelled in making friends. I still nurture some deepest connections I made during that phase. The attention I got was because of me, not because of my family. I had learned the art of making friends. All it needed was for me to smile and extend my hand in friendship. It came easy after overcoming the initial shyness. I learned how to make friends and be one... In my naiveness I decided to be a friend to everyone that life brought along.

And then I learned the hard way that you can't be friends with everyone. You cannot have everyone you meet, be your friend and even like you. And I don't have to like everyone I meet! In fact I had to learn to accept the fact that no matter what I do, some may hate me with an intensity that I can not undo. It is their choice. And It is my choice to like who I like and whom I don't. I also learned that I have to stop trying so hard for people to like me, accept me. Because those who like me will like me no matter what and those who don't, will not like me no matter what! I became selective and choosy about my friendship.

So now with all this life time accumulated wisdom about friendship, how does it makes sense that life has still some more lessons to teach you! I thought I had learnt the art of choosing the right friend. But what I didn't know was that friends can change also. And that can take the wind out of your sail.

Sometimes you have to try really hard to nurture a friendship and sometimes you have to accept the fact that it cannot be fixed.

Life is too short to try to fix a toxic one and too short to not try to fix some. And it comes with experiences to know which one to pick and which one to let go. Or am I still being naive??!!